Life is so depressing

Since when had I been here? I was, all the while, allowing my body to take over my mind, staggering and wobbling around with no direction at all. My eyelids were half closed and I found myself wandered to a silent shore draped with mist. It was as though an endless uncertainty in one's life that as to whether life or death should be questionable. As I embraced myself into the silence, I could feel the caressing of sea breeze on my face and its soft whisper into my ears. I dug my toes into the sand and let the grains to sift through the spaces in between. How could one be so enjoyable even in such daunting situation? Life was so depressing.

It was then that the ground became agitated and shook turbulently until cracks grew and separated the land. The water subsided into its horizon and I felt silence leaving me. A wall of wave soon expanded and crashing all its way towards my direction, tumbling against rocks as though it was about to swallow me. I responded by heaving my chest and inhaling the violence with my hands stretching out to both sides, closing my eyes slowly...

“She is losing too much blood!”
“Quick! Her breath is getting weaker! Lady, listen to me, please don't give up. Please...”
I was looking a girl being admitted quickly into the emergency room from distance. Her face was pale and she was coughing blood. Why was she so determined fighting for life? Was it much better if she gave up there? She could, at least, freed herself from the disdain of society and the unfair eternal punishment from God. Was it merely because of the voice from the emergency staff that dictated her to continue living as she grew up without any parental affection or caring? For a moment, tears were coursing down my cheek and sorrow mechanically overwhelmed me. Why was life so depressing?

Abruptly, the hospital scene was contorted and folded into a long running film in front of me. I was then presented with a scene of empty hotel room and I continued being a non-entitative spectator, watching the next incident to unfold itself. The door suddenly slammed open and I saw a girl being dragged forcibly by two masked men and was immediately tied on the bed, not knowing what to do. She started to resist as the men took off their shirts and attempted to ravish her. Her face contorted into a mask of grotesque pain and she struggled as she was being violated.

Armed with a pocket knife, one of the men brutally mutilated the very private part of the girl, leaving her screaming in suffering. To confound it all, the men laughed and sneered at her, totally mesmerizing in their own fantasy. Unable to hold back my emotion, I broke down in tears and wailed upon witnessing this scenario, crumpling and collapsing on the ground. I felt as if I was about tear my face and skin away as the pain was simply too intense. Her pain, my pain.

I wiped my tears and I found myself on a tall building, perching on the edge of a ledge. As I gazed downwards, I caught a glimpse of a nurse running in a state of agitation around the streets. Miss Emily must be worrying about me. Tiredness was growing in her and she finally gave up searching me, walking away and disappearing into the crowd. For the next jiffy, it was as if realization had suddenly slapped on my face that I felt like I was a nobody, merely a toy of fate which had come to its expiration.

“So, you finally decided to give up on me.” I closed my eyes and stepped over the ledge, letting myself to embrace the air. Life is so depressing.



*A very gloomy story.