Totally-capital-nism

I am the highway of city
I serve as wide as you can swerve
But I fail to grow with capitalism
Because of the totalitarianism
the totalitarianism of capitalism
the fag of 'capitalitarianism'

I am rotting away and what matter are the sweeties
Put your hands up and we are feeding the Queenies

I saw the devil headline that was smiling
I knew that there was someone crying
We are to be littered
But our death is recyclable
Processed to become your lucky number

There are fools like me
Borne to fill up your height
Don't worry, don't worry
You are safe, you won't topple
You are made to be too perfect

I am rotting away and what matter are the sweeties
Put your hands up and we are feeding the Queenies

Life is so depressing

Since when had I been here? I was, all the while, allowing my body to take over my mind, staggering and wobbling around with no direction at all. My eyelids were half closed and I found myself wandered to a silent shore draped with mist. It was as though an endless uncertainty in one's life that as to whether life or death should be questionable. As I embraced myself into the silence, I could feel the caressing of sea breeze on my face and its soft whisper into my ears. I dug my toes into the sand and let the grains to sift through the spaces in between. How could one be so enjoyable even in such daunting situation? Life was so depressing.

It was then that the ground became agitated and shook turbulently until cracks grew and separated the land. The water subsided into its horizon and I felt silence leaving me. A wall of wave soon expanded and crashing all its way towards my direction, tumbling against rocks as though it was about to swallow me. I responded by heaving my chest and inhaling the violence with my hands stretching out to both sides, closing my eyes slowly...

“She is losing too much blood!”
“Quick! Her breath is getting weaker! Lady, listen to me, please don't give up. Please...”
I was looking a girl being admitted quickly into the emergency room from distance. Her face was pale and she was coughing blood. Why was she so determined fighting for life? Was it much better if she gave up there? She could, at least, freed herself from the disdain of society and the unfair eternal punishment from God. Was it merely because of the voice from the emergency staff that dictated her to continue living as she grew up without any parental affection or caring? For a moment, tears were coursing down my cheek and sorrow mechanically overwhelmed me. Why was life so depressing?

Abruptly, the hospital scene was contorted and folded into a long running film in front of me. I was then presented with a scene of empty hotel room and I continued being a non-entitative spectator, watching the next incident to unfold itself. The door suddenly slammed open and I saw a girl being dragged forcibly by two masked men and was immediately tied on the bed, not knowing what to do. She started to resist as the men took off their shirts and attempted to ravish her. Her face contorted into a mask of grotesque pain and she struggled as she was being violated.

Armed with a pocket knife, one of the men brutally mutilated the very private part of the girl, leaving her screaming in suffering. To confound it all, the men laughed and sneered at her, totally mesmerizing in their own fantasy. Unable to hold back my emotion, I broke down in tears and wailed upon witnessing this scenario, crumpling and collapsing on the ground. I felt as if I was about tear my face and skin away as the pain was simply too intense. Her pain, my pain.

I wiped my tears and I found myself on a tall building, perching on the edge of a ledge. As I gazed downwards, I caught a glimpse of a nurse running in a state of agitation around the streets. Miss Emily must be worrying about me. Tiredness was growing in her and she finally gave up searching me, walking away and disappearing into the crowd. For the next jiffy, it was as if realization had suddenly slapped on my face that I felt like I was a nobody, merely a toy of fate which had come to its expiration.

“So, you finally decided to give up on me.” I closed my eyes and stepped over the ledge, letting myself to embrace the air. Life is so depressing.



*A very gloomy story.

It started as a beautiful morning...

It started as a beautiful morning that I woke up to the pleasant chirping of birds and the mild rays of rising sun were drawn against my curtain. It was simply too serene. This time, I felt as though I was the one who woke the alarm clock up as my mind was set with today's exciting plan. I had a date.

At first, I was not stupid enough to accept Carl's invitation for a date, letting the euphoria to completely overwhelm me even though I was in cloud nine at that jiffy, smiling in my heart. I was showing my feigned reluctance, telling Carl that it was not easy to ask me and testing as to whether he was really genuine. Without an ounce of hesitation, he ran off and returned to me within 5 minutes, panting and sweating like a hog, bringing back a bouquet of roses and pleaded, “Carmen, please, date with me.”

...Having myself prepared in fashionable clothes, I deftly put on the make up on my face, drawing the eyeliner to a tee. Not to forget my triumph card – the “killing perfume” which I only used once in a blue moon. When I was all set, I left my house and walking along the pavement, humming a tune to myself, meanwhile, looking for a taxi.

The subsequent scene revealed itself in an Italian restaurant. The continental decorations and Italian soft music were enough to set up a romantic atmosphere. As I entered the restaurant, I raised my head a little, scanning around for Carl's presence. Realizing that I arrived earlier than Carl, I chose a table with 2 seats and had myself sitting comfortably while waiting for him.

“May I have your order, lady?”
“A cup of coffee with less sugar please.” Perhaps I was too busy to touch up my make up, I neglected the eye contact with the waiter. As I saw him walking away, I was quick enough to observe that he was actually wearing his tuxedo inside out. I chuckled, trying hard to stifle my mirth.

Half an hour had passed and without realizing, I had finished sipping my coffee. My patience was wearing thin as I still could hardly see even the silhouette of Carl. Meanwhile, dark clouds began to drape the ever smiling sun and rain started to fell in crescendo as I looked outside through the window. Raindrops pattered on the roof as the rain became heavier. The scene was just enough to explain my current mood, I reckoned.

For suddenly, out of the blue, a man shoved the door open and I was jolted from my reverie. It was Carl. His shirt was soaked in rain and he approached me in a state of nervousness, provoking unpleasant gaze from vicinity.

“Urmm... I am sorry, I... just now...”
“I don't know you, please go away.”
“I din't mean to be late, but...”
“Don't bullshit. Why do you have to be so pathetic everytime? What matters the worst, you are being late! Do you what time is it now?” I bulged my eyes and hissed at him, continued reprimanding as all my anger and dissatisfaction erupted full blast with my voice.

It was then that the light abruptly went off and the restaurant was dimly lit with increasing number of candle lights, all arranging in a line surrounding the room. To my surprise, there was even music played with violin. Wait, It sounded just like...

“Happy Birthday Carmen!” For a moment, Carl's brimming face was illuminated by the candle lights on a birthday cake. Realization suddenly hit me with a jolt that today was my birthday. I had totally forgotten about it! Embarrassed by my paramount ranting, I apologized sincerely to him.

“I’m so sorry for yelling at you just now. I never knew that you actually put up a hard work for this party and even made you all wet. You know, I’m truly touched. Thank you.” I asserted in between tears as I lowered my head for feeling sorry that I went all rampaging, weeping.

“I won’t mind. And I’m sorry too for making you feeling sorry.”
“No…no…no…don’t even mention it. I’m very happy at your plan.”
“Then now, would u officially become my one and only girlfriend?”

Mixed feelings surged through me despite the state of sorry- feeling touched and happy at the same time for his meticulously planned plan and yet flabbergasted at his sudden assertion.

“Err…Umm…Yes.” In soft voice, I agreed. Little did I notice that the rain actually subsided and the sunlight again pierced through the dark clouds that brighten our day again. It ended as a beautiful day.




*"weather" instantaneously popped up in my mind as I saw the title. I decided to blend such element with the story with good weather as the opening, raining at the middle of the story and end it with a good weather again. This is what I could come out. Written by me, compiled by Mr Shim

Too late

“See what I 've got, the crystal pendant! I 've been trying every stroke of my luck to get it from the capsule machine. How rare is this!” Amy's face was brimming with happiness as though she was about to leap with joy.

“What makes you to be so intrigued in these sissy things? I wonder why are you...”

“You just don't understand. Rumour has it that if I could get another half of the pendant and make it completed, every single wish will soon be realized!” She cut in, with an exciting tone, leaving me staring at her, expressionless.

“Cheesy...” I responded, tearing away my stare from her to continue looking at the sea.

“You look as if you have something to say. Caesar?” Quizzically, she studied my expression closely.

“Amy, I was being accepted by Harvard University that I have to go...”

“It's alright. No matter how far or how long will you be going, I will be waiting for you. Don't you worry about me.” Her eyelids narrowed and a smile was formed on her face. It was as though she had already known about the news.

...It was now my third year at the university. Time passed remarkably fast and everything went on smoothly but the only thing that was missed out was that I had been losing contact with Amy, for about three months. I was pessimistic enough to reckon that she might had forgotten me, probably in another new relationship.

It was then that I caught a glimpse of a capsule machine, standing in front of a grocery. I stood momentarily before the very machine and decided to change a token with coins, giving a shot on what would I be getting even though it sounded cheesy, at least for me. It looked too uncannily inviting.

I inserted the coin into the machine and in return, I obtained a blue capsule. To my surprise, I found a halved crystal pendant that was similar to the one Amy owned. Images of moments between Amy and I, abruptly, flashed across my mind. For a moment, little did I know I actually do miss her.

...“Hello? Is Mr Caeser speaking?”
“Yes.”
“This is Bangkok Hospital. To make it short, your friend, Amy Silviana, has been admitted into the wat 2 months ago. Her parents fervently hope that you could pay a visit to her.”

I was paralyzed on spot upon hearing the news, still disbelieving on what was transpiring. Wasting no time at all, I booked a flight ticket and returned to Bangkok. I fidgeted everytime in the plane as all sorts of unwanted possibility danced about in my mind. “Amy, don't you ever scare me, please.”

The subsequent episode revealed itself in Bangkok Hospital. I rushed towards the wat where Amy was admitted as fast as my legs could take and my breath could catch. As I wrenched the door open, My blood ran cold as I saw Amy lying on the bed in a still repose, being accompanied by her parents. Everything was just too unreal.

“Caeser, you finally arrived. But, you are too late, Amy has just passed away a moment ago.” Amy's parents wept, burying their faces into Amy's body. Tears ran down incessantly down my cheek as I too, could not control my emotion. I approached Amy slowly and I was brave enough to verify the cruel reality. I grabbed on the halved crystal pendant tightly, watching the other half on Amy's lifeless palm, crying and trembling.

“You just don't understand. Rumour has it that if I could get another half of the pendant and make it completed, every single wish will soon be realized!”

“Now I had brought the other half. How I wish you can open your eyes now...”



*This is just my another try on something "emotional". The plot was clear in my mind and things went on quite smoothly. Anyway, how do you think?

Loss

When i think of him, I am still filled with a profound sense of loss as the incident lies embedded in me forever, for hardly could passage of time erode it. I beat my chest in an attempt to hold back my sorrow and tears, but somehow I give in to despair, collapsing into plaintive cries everytime the incident floats about in my mind...

The sky was never clear. To put it another way, It was always shrouded in clouds of smoke as if the chaos had completely taken over the earth. Jonas, my young brother and me, not much different than the other victims of war, were forced to scramble from the menacing enemies, hiding as a fugitive in a settlement. Realization, soon enough, hit me with a jolt that I had to protect Jonas as he was the only relative I left after the death of our parents. To confound it all, he was borne with anemia, growing up with all kinds of physical suffering.

My eyes were glossed with tears as I looked at his petite and fragile body and I instantaneously hugged him tightly to my chest. Looking up his innocent face, I somehow could not understand why he had to face all these sorts of ordeal. Why was the God so cruel? "Jonas, I will protect you, you will be alright, I swear..." In between sobs, I whispered into his ears.

As God had has its own plan and things were never smooth. As usual, I was in the midst of gathering edible resource in the nearby forest while Jonas was staying at the settlement alone. The moment I was returning to the settlement, I was dumbstrucked at once to see that the settlement was caught in fire and the smoke billowed into the sky. My hunch whispered to me that it was probably being invaded a jiffy ago. Jonas... JONAS! I was jolted as I realized Jonas was in danger.

Wasting no time at all, I rushed into the settlement in spite of the scorching flame. "JONAS! JONAS! Where are you!" Panic stricken, I shouted while running along the gravel, in an unsteady gait. When all sorts of unwanted probability danced about in my mind, tears flowed incessantly down my cheeks in rivulet. For suddenly, I tripped over a stone and sprawled onto the ground. I yanked myself up immediately as I forced my will not to give in to despair. Hardly could I afford to lose Jonas.

I gathered my strength again as I felt that my legs weakened, almost buckled beneath me. It was then that a man appeared out of nowhere. "Lady! You must get away from here! It is simply too unsafe!" He hollered. "NO! Unless I could find my brother, otherwise, I am not leaving!" I screamed and cried as I was being dragged away forcibly. Unable to accept the reality, I fainted...

Time passed and there was still no news about Jonas. It took months for me to recover from the trauma, accepting the truth that he had already died. "Jonas, you know how much do I miss you?"



*In response to Mr Shim's short essay, I made myself another one. It could be longer, I think, but I wrote this in order to challenge myself to finish an essay within a minimum time. I guess it ain't too bad.

An event that changed my life

It was Sunday and people were rather crowded here. Crouching down at the corner of a prosperous hypermarket, I extended my hand, raising my sole means of living tool (a sardine fish can) towards the crowd for some attention or sympathy for me a starving, smelly little poor beggar. I could barely live just slightly above the level of starvation.

In fact, I was diligent to wander around the streets for extra “income” apart from waiting blindly. I, therefore, would stagger into any restaurants or shops that came into my way if any generous ones would kindly offer me some leftover food or water. My dignity was no where to be found, living like a stray dog.

One very fateful morning I stumbled upon a simple store, not much ordinary than ever. I stepped inside, pacing around the somehow vacant store and spotted a lady freely reading her newspaper. “Err… could you lend me one or two dollars please?” I beseeched while acting as if I was deprived from nourishment for decades before added,” some expired food will also do.”

She realized of my presence, looked up at me and gently put down the newspaper. ”hmm… but only one condition- carry all those crates into the storeroom just behind, beside the toilet,” she ordered, pointing at the crates stacking as high as a mountain outside.

Infuriated by her task that obviously put me into dilemma, I hissed, “how could you ever humiliate me like this? I’m just simply beg for a living!”

“Oh? Are you crippled or what? Carry those crates or get lost. It’s all up to you.” Realization hit me with a jolt upon hearing this. She had got the point and I relented, scurried into action meekly with a “Fine!”

me. She then approached me and lent me a towel. No sooner had I finished wiping of the sweat than she generously invited me for a lunch with her that I gobbled down a large Minutes stretched into hours that I finished my quest, at last, sweating like a hog. My stomach was churning that I could hardly endure the hunger that was killing portion of hers as well. I was definitely grateful for her that the lost sense of contentment finally allowed resurfacing.

Just then when I was leaving, the familiar voice of the lady reached my ears, “Hey, mister, you’ve forgotten your pay!” I turned around and noted that she handed me a 50 dollars note.

“Are you sure about this?” staring at her with astonishment, my hands were shaking as I took over the money, deeply touched.

“Of course. You deserved it for your hard work. And one more thing, do remember to get a job!” Staring deep into her brimming eyes, I could feel a overwhelming power engulfing me, dictating me for a change. Her heart-warming advice and all she did literally enlightened me, etching profoundly in my heart that the passing of time could never erode it. I thanked her to my heart’s content.

Hot tears trailed down my cheeks in rivulet as I gripped the money tightly. I promised myself for the sake of mine and for hers as well, to strive out of poverty with my own strength. How lucky I was that God had sent me an angel for lecturing a priceless lesson that even came together with money. I would definitely make it without a doubt, no matter what stumbling blocks awaiting me in the future.



*I din't make this myself. I received this essay from Mr Shim and was permitted to publish it. I suggested a longer essay, anyway, it's a good piece of writing though.

An Unexpected Event

There he was, sitting on the same bar stool at the end of the bar counter alone, sipping his favorite Margarita and he seemed not be bothered by the clamorous atmosphere. Looking well toned in his tank top, his hazy blue eyes glowed in the dim neon lights and my heart danced everytime as i fixated my eyes at him. Everything about him, for me, emanated perfection. I was in trance, to say the least.

He was the reason for me to hang out in the bar these few days. I always sat in a position so that he was within my view angle. This time, our eyes met. He flashed a light but a charming smile at me while the corner of his eyes crinkled a little. I reckoned that he must be about thirty and to say that he intrigued me deeper as I had always preferred mature men would be an understatement.

The absence of any odd tan line or white circle on his ring finger convinced me that he was unmarried and a man in a relationship would never spend long nights staying in the bar without answering any phone calls from his love mate, much less, every night. He must be single, for sure.

The next time we looked at each other, I held his gaze. It was almost as if we were challanging one another. As he squinted his eyes a little at me, I was sure that he was being flirty and felt the same way as me. Straightening my top, I pulled it down and adjusted it so it fit tightly. I glanced over to him again as I wanted him to see my figure.

As I was tasting the Screaming Orgasm I had ordered a moment ago, it never struck at me at all that it tasted like having a turbulent sex! My imagination instantaneously took off into unknown territories, bringing me into the wild world of ecstacy of me and him im as I imagined myself having a screaming orgasm. How orgasmic!

I stood up and lingered momentarily, showing off my midriff. As I expected, he stared impressively at my figure from top to bottom, to and fro. There was no man in this world who could resist my body, not even him. For a moment, I felt that I was on the winning side and my conscious dictated me to seduce him. I knew I was going to make it, definitely!

Approaching him, I walked with my hips swinging slightly and puffing my chest confidently, pushing away the long hair that fell on my shoulder to have a better looking of my face. I sat on the stool besides him and adjusted my legs so that they are close to him. Without uttering a word, I rubbed my thigh gently against his legs and my hand slipped into his shirt, passing through his navel. Then, I moved my hand slowly up his face, caressing a patch of facial hair on his chin. While winking to him, I stuck out my tongue to lick my upper lip and showing my burning lust. I wonder if any man could resist this orgasmic temptation. The goose bump on his skin was a proof that my seduction had borne fruit.

This time, I leaned my chest against his body and my mouth reached over his ear, playfully nibbled it. As I was about to whisper into his ear, he was jolted by the sudden appearance of a man. Surprised as he was, he pushed me away roughly and I slammed my right arm on the bar counter in an attempt to balance myself. I grimaced.

In the next moment, my eyebrows furrowed and my eyes squinted angrily as my shock took to another form – indignation. Before I could churn out a word of dissatisfaction, I was dumbstrucked at once seeing that he approached the man and both of them embraced together, making out with one another as though they had not met with each other for decades. It was then that I realized that they were homosexual! How unexpected!

To my embarrassment, I slunk away, leaving the bar as hasty as I could. What an unanticipated failure!



*This one took me quite a moment to finish as I imagined myself being a middle-aged woman and seducing a man in an old-fashioned way. I hope it gives the atmosphere of a bar and an "orgasmic" sense felt by either the man or the woman =)